We could all use a good laugh right about now, and the “guy secrets that girls don’t know about” Reddit thread sure does the trick. For instance:
“Sometimes we pee on the poo stains in the toilet because we are too lazy to use the scrub.”
“No matter how you shake and dance, the last two drops go in your pants.”
At the same time, the thread reveals these awesome tips for getting off the couch, getting active, and getting sh*t done during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Guy Secret No. 1: “If we haven’t carried in all the shopping in one go, we haven’t done it right.”
While chores are a great way to show off our superhuman strength, they can also double as easy workouts. In spring, for instance, cleaning your eavestroughs by climbing ladders, scooping up leaf goo and raking it up burns around 320 calories an hour. Washing all the winter grime off your beloved vehicle, meanwhile, clocks in at around 290 calories per hour. Plus, it’s easy to fit leg-strengthening squats into both chores. What’s a squat? Here’s how it’s done.
Guy Secret No. 2: “Saying ‘I almost broke my neck in the driveway’ is not the same as asking us to shovel it. In my mind, I’m thinking ‘thanks for the heads up, I’ll be careful.’”
Be it snow, sand or soil, springtime shovelling can burn more than 400 calories an hour. Lift the load to chest height and hold it for 10 seconds, and you’ll work all your major muscle groups: legs, core, back, shoulders and arms. Now that’s multi-tasking!
Guy Secret No. 3: “After a shower, we have no problem drying our balls and face with the same towel. Most of the time we try to dry the face first, then the sack. But sometimes we have to go back to the face. We just hope we use an uncontaminated part of the towel.”
Amen to that last part! Outdoor showers may not be a good idea in springtime, but showering at home after getting your sweat on with some outdoor jump rope, cycling or jumping jacks feels amazing. Plus, your fitter physique might encourage your significant other to join you behind the shower curtain.
Guy Secret No. 4: “We desperately want you to toss us things instead of just handing them to us.”
Grab a frisbee, football or softball from the garage and make good use of the parks your tax dollars pay for while having some active fun with your family. It’ll do them — and you — some good.
Guy Secret No. 5: “There is an unwritten rule of bathroom urinal etiquette that is never taught to young men, but is somehow universally known. When a man enters a public restroom to pee in the urinal, he is to occupy every other available urinal from other urinating men. Meaning, the prime peeing positions are in urinals 1, 3, and 5 if that is available. 2 and 4 should only be occupied if there are no other choices.”
OK, this one has nothing to do with getting active, but it IS a great reminder to always wash your hands for 20 seconds — or how long it takes to sing “Happy Birthday twice — whenever you come home after leaving the house. Just making sure you’re on board with social distancing!
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