How to drink less booze by trading Beer Goggles for a Moderation Monocle

Beer was first swigged around 7,000 years ago, which means beer goggles were first worn three or four rounds after that.

The term “beer goggles” pokes fun at alcohol’s ability to make other people appear more attractive than they really are. Wearing the pretend eyewear on a regular basis can also lead to hangovers and a host of health problems. Sporting a sweet Moderation Monocle, on the other hand, prevents all that by helping you look at drinking in a new way — one that puts these easy alcohol-reduction tips into action:

Water, water everywhere

As well as slowing down and diluting your intake of alcohol, chasing every drink with a glass of water helps your body process and eliminate booze. Diluting drinks with ice, meanwhile, reduces the alcohol content (by volume). Both of these savvy moves can help you avoid hangovers.

Pro tip: Since ordering water just for yourself at a pub can feel awkward when everyone else is drinking, go ahead and order a round of water for the whole table, or a pitcher of water with glasses. Your buddies will thank you the next morning!

Glasses get it done

Research has shown that using certain types of glasses can reduce the amount of booze you knock back:

  • Less wine tends to be poured into narrow glasses than wide ones.
  • Leaving a glass on the table instead of holding it yields a smaller pour.
  • Straight-sided beer glasses with measurement markings can slow down the rate at which you drink.
  • Filling glasses only halfway up results in significant reductions in booze intake.
  • Using a shot glass to mix cocktails ensures that you don’t overpour.

Steer clear of boozy situations

Parties or nights on the town often lead to drinking and, in turn, to over-imbibing. Controlling the environment — say, by inviting friends to your place for the big game — can lead to less alcohol consumption.

Have fun without booze

Make a list of fun activities that don’t have to involve booze — playing with your kids or your dog at the park, board games, video games, getting it on, the list goes on — and slot them in at those times when you’re tempted to drink.

Learn from setbacks

Hey, nobody’s perfect. Creating new habits is no easy feat, and despite your best efforts you may still have a few too many wobbly pops from time to time. Don’t beat yourself up over it — as long as you learn from these missteps, and make more of an effort next time, you’re making progress.

The big-time benefits of less booze

One of the best things about wearing a Moderation Monocle is that you don’t have to give up beer, wine, or your favourite cocktail in order to reduce the risks of poor health. You just need to keep it to 15 drinks a week and no more than 3 a day, with at least two booze-free days each week. Totally doable!

Why drink less alcohol? It will help you look better, feel better, and reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes — the focus of November’s Diabetes Awareness Month — as well as the risk of liver disease, heart disease, several forms of cancer, erectile dysfunction and low testosterone.

Ever wonder why Mr. Peanut is always smiling? Now you know: It’s his Moderation Monocle!

Do you have any nifty tips for drinking less booze? Share them with your Don’t Change Much buddies in the comments below!

About the Author

Adam Bisby

Adam Bisby

Adam Bisby is a Toronto-based freelance journalist and father of two. His award-winning stories have appeared in the Globe and Mail, Toronto Star and National Post newspapers, in magazines like Explore, Reader's Digest, International Traveller and Canadian Family, and on websites including MSN.com and DontChangeMuch.ca.

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