While there are many great foods in life that can have you reaching for the gas-b-gone pills, few rival the king of toots: beans. Now don’t get us wrong, the relief of a little cheek squeak here and there can make a man feel great but the options for politically correct times and places to pass wind without judgement can be limited.

So this one is for you. To all the guys who love ‘em a good bowl of chili, but who don’t want to have to plan their next few days around eating it. Oh – and as a bonus it’s a 15 minute prep.


  • 1 lbs ground turkey
  • 2 11-ounce cans of tomato soup
  • 2 15-ounce cans of mixed beans
  • 1 15-ounce can of black beans
  • ½ chopped medium onion
  • 2 tbsp chili powder
  • 1 tsp red pepper flakes
  • 2 diced garlic cloves
  • ½ tbs ground cumin (if you don’t have you may replace with more chili powder)
  • ¼ cup pickled jalapenos

How to

Open all three cans of beans and drain. Fill a bowl or pot with water and add the beans to the water. Let sit while you prep the rest of the chili.

Chop your onion and dice your garlic.

Grab a pan and splash a bit of coconut or olive oil in it. Fry up your ground turkey, onions and garlic.

In your slow cooker (if you don’t have one a large pot will work fine) empty the cans of tomato soup. Add the chili powder, red pepper flakes, cumin and the turkey mixture.

Stir around the bean/water mixture with your hands and drain. Fill again with water – stir with your hands and drain one last time before adding the beans to your slow cooker.

The longer the chili sits, the better it will be. If you aren’t looking to eat it tonight set your slow cooker on low and pack it for lunch tomorrow. Otherwise set on high and leave for 4 hours. If you are cooking in a pot on the stovetop keep on low and let simmer for the same amount of time (just make sure to stir it every half hour or so).

Before you eat stir in the jalapenos.

Ay, Caramba! That’s good.