What do you get when you cross a kick-ass superhero with umpteen hilarious terms for man parts? On one hand, you get the new Deadpool movie, which stars Canadian Ryan Reynolds, and is breaking box office records left, right and centre.
But on the other hand, you also get a compelling, innovative way to spread an extremely important message about testicular cancer. Or, as Deadpool himself says in the hilarious video below this post, “that bag of beans bouncing around in your pants could be trying to kill you.”
As Deadpool, a.k.a. “the merc with the mouth,” a masked Reynolds delivers some gut-busting slang while sitting on a pool table and fondling the 8 and 2 balls. The video also delivers a helpful self-examination guide for testicular cancer, which is the most common form of cancer among men between the ages of 15 and 35.
- “Hold each of your man berries, or as I like to call them, smooth criminals, in turn, between your thumb and fingers. Give them a gentle roll around — don’t get too excited though, you’re on a mission here!”
- “If at any point you feel an irregular lump, size shift or irregularity, don’t ignore it. Talk to your doctor. The alternative is not an option.”
- “Check once a month after a bath or shower.”
Check out the video yourself below — you’ll be glad you did — and be sure to share this post using the #touchyourselftonight hashtag.
Reynolds wraps things up as only Deadpool can: “Next time you’re shopping in the sexy salad section, remember: Tweak the tomatoes before you go cucumber crazy.”
Watch Gentlemen, Touch Yourself Tonight
Adam Bisby is a Toronto-based freelance journalist and father of two. His award-winning stories have appeared in The Globe and Mail, Toronto Star and National Post newspapers, in magazines like Explore, Reader’s Digest, International Traveller and Canadian Family, and on websites including MSN, MSN Canada, and DontChangeMuch.ca. Visit Adam’s website for more details on his award winning work.