‘Twas the Night Before Santa Quit Smoking

Press the SoundCloud play button above to listen to Santa’s story.

 

‘Twas the Night before Christmas

And at the North Pole

Gift delivery stress

Was taking its toll

 

Santa’s hard work

Was far from done yet

That’s why he was craving

Just one cigarette

 

On course Santa knew

That once he lit up

He’d surely keep smoking

Till the pack was used up

 

That’s when he turned

To his shiny smartphone

For these easy ways

To leave nicotine alone 

 

Try stopping cold turkey

There’s nothing to lose

You might feel like hell

But then you can cruise

 

Cravings will come

And cravings will go

Take several deep breaths

And drink H-2-O

 

Give it 5 minutes

And cravings will pass

Or get yourself moving

(Kick yourself in the ass)

 

Try push-ups, or crunches, or wall squats, or curls

Do planks, or do burpees, walk the dog and chase squirrels

A stroll or a workout,

And saving your liver,

Will give you a present even Santa can’t deliver

 

Then you’ll hear Santa whoop

When BOTH of you quit

“Merry Christmas to all,

Cigarettes taste like $h¡t!”

 

Give us your best Christmas rhymes from the comments section below.

About the Author

Adam Bisby

Adam Bisby

Adam Bisby is a Toronto-based freelance journalist and father of two. His award-winning stories have appeared in The Globe and Mail , Toronto Star and National Post newspapers, in magazines like Explore, Reader's Digest, International Traveller and Canadian Family, and on websites including MSN, MSN Canada, and DontChangeMuch.ca. Visit Adam's website for more details on his award winning work.

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