Don’t Break Your Balls

Don’t Break Your Balls

Watching a guy play catch with a toddler? Boring. Watching the toddler accidentally nail him in the nads? Unboring! 

Ball-related mishaps are always good for a laugh — as long as they’re not your balls — but testicular torsion is no joke. Nut health is an important part of men’s health, and will allow you (and your future family) to continue being awesome

So brace yourself…for…testicular torsion.


Don’t panic! Here’s what you need to know

Testicular what now? The condition, which happens when the bundle of cords that connects to and holds the testicles is twisted, occurs in around 1 in 4,000 males mostly under the age of 25. In short, it’s a rare condition, but at least you know what it is now! In most males, a testicle cannot twist due to strong surrounding tissue in the scrotum. But for some guys, especially youngsters, the testicles move more freely. Combine this physical predisposition with any sort of movement — even rolling over in bed — and testicular torsion can occur, especially if the testicles are not properly supported and protected.

Symptoms and treatment

There’s sudden, extreme pain in one of the testicles — usually the left one — which is often accompanied by nausea and vomiting. Testicular torsion is a medical emergency that requires treatment immediately, ideally before 12 hours have passed. Time is of the essence because it cuts off blood supply to the testicle, leading to permanent damage or even removal. Yikes!

The takeaway here: Ball-related accidents can still be funny…unless there’s a serious twist involved.


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How Well Do You Know Your “Happy Sack”?

How Well Do You Know Your “Happy Sack”?

What do you get when you cross a kick-ass superhero with umpteen hilarious terms for man parts? On one hand, you get the new Deadpool movie, which stars Canadian Ryan Reynolds, and is breaking box office records left, right and centre.

But on the other hand, you also get a compelling, innovative way to spread an extremely important message about testicular cancer. Or, as Deadpool himself says in the hilarious video below this post, “that bag of beans bouncing around in your pants could be trying to kill you.”

As Deadpool, a.k.a. “the merc with the mouth,” a masked Reynolds delivers some gut-busting slang while sitting on a pool table and fondling the 8 and 2 balls. The video also delivers a helpful self-examination guide for testicular cancer, which is the most common form of cancer among men between the ages of 15 and 35.

To recap:

  1. “Hold each of your man berries, or as I like to call them, smooth criminals, in turn, between your thumb and fingers. Give them a gentle roll around — don’t get too excited though, you’re on a mission here!”
  2. “If at any point you feel an irregular lump, size shift or irregularity, don’t ignore it. Talk to your doctor. The alternative is not an option.”
  3. “Check once a month after a bath or shower.”

Check out the video yourself below — you’ll be glad you did — and be sure to share this post using the #touchyourselftonight hashtag.

Reynolds wraps things up as only Deadpool can: “Next time you’re shopping in the sexy salad section, remember: Tweak the tomatoes before you go cucumber crazy.”

Watch Gentlemen, Touch Yourself Tonight

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