I don’t often invoke the words of past girlfriends, but “You’re doing it wrong” just works so well here. 

Let’s start with what I’m doing (and in my defence I have no idea what I’m doing). I do standup comedy professionally and work as an actor in film and television. I stumble through life fooling people into ultimately entertaining themselves, and so far no one has said, “Stop this foolishness.” So when I was invited last year to become a men’s health champion for the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation, and it came time to take part in a promotion during Men’s Health Week, I was super-psyched. 

To promote men’s health, I came up with an idea. I posted something on social media, and said I would do one jumping jack for every like, follow, etc. it received. Sounds simple, right?

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bys2MHgBeQ6

Well, turns out I did it wrong. 

I owe approximately 1,800 jumping jacks. This poor schlub who was promoting “small changes” was looking down the barrel of a big one. So I handled it like an adult. I ignored it and hummed to myself so it would just go away.

I’m the kind of guy who hears “don’t eat 6 hours before bed,” and in order to do that I turn in at 4am. Park at the far end of the parking lot? That’s no problem when you shop at a downtown grocery store where the parking lot holds like 15 cars. Eat more colours? That’s easy! My pizza came with a red, green, white and orange dipping sauce. 

Once again, it turns out I was doing it wrong.  OK, it may not have been quite that bad, but I noticed a pattern. I would do far more to avoid pain than I would to gain pleasure. These people that run only because it makes them feel good are freaks, right? Sure I’d park on the outskirts of a big box parking lot and walk in, but really I was avoiding the monotony of finding a parking spot.

In the meantime, I owe you something — 1,800 somethings in fact. I’m not attempting to do 1,800 jumping jacks every day, but technically, doing a few jumping jacks a day is infinitely better than what I have been doing. You know, the ol’ eat an elephant one bite at a time idea. I’m not sure the world really needs this video, but it’s what I have after making good on what I made wrong. What do you say we try not to cock this up moving forward? In other words, let’s get our shit together, together. You in?

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