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Bromancing 101 in four easy steps

by | Sep 17, 2019 | Mental Health

We’ve all heard this sappy line before: “Ten years ago, I married my best friend.”

Now, let’s add a hilarious twist ending: “My wife’s still really mad about it, but me and Dave thought it was funny at the time.”

Of course, before you can jokingly marry your best bud, you need to HAVE a best bud. Thankfully, starting a new “bromance” is easier than you might think. Wondering how to start new friendships with other guys? Here’s how it’s done:

Step 1: Make time

Between work, chores, family and other commitments, carving out enough time to see old friends can be a challenge. That’s why making new friends may sound so difficult. After all, your days of goofing around on the school bus or in detention are long gone.

Start by setting aside one evening each week to be more social, and go from there. Also, be sure to let your significant other know your plans, and assure them that your new schedule won’t take away from existing relationships.

Step 2: Do your thing

Whatever you enjoy doing with your spare time — bowling, watching sports, barbecuing, hiking, chainsaw juggling, the list goes on — chances are there’s a dude-filled club or team in your area that welcomes new members. When guys share common interests, it drastically improves the chances of bonds being formed. Fact is, many bromances develop from guys doing things together that their partners might not care about: Lifting weights at the gym, going to heavy metal concerts, playing video games, you get the idea.

No time to spare? No problem: Your workplace can be a great place to make friends. Working on a project with other guys, trading stories around the water cooler, and joining forces to fix the *&^%ing photocopier are all examples of ways to find common ground.

That said, you don’t have to start a bromance with your clone. Stay open to meeting someone who has different interests and life experiences. After all, that can be half the fun of meeting new people!

Step 3: It’s okay – make the first move

If you feel like you’re getting along well with another guy, and think it might be fun to hang out, simply ask him if he’d be into that. Try saying something like, “Hey, do you want to go watch the game on Saturday?” or “I just found this awesome new hiking trail. Wanna check it out?” The key is getting together around common interests, and doing something both of you would naturally be doing in your spare time anyway. Then, if your meet-up goes well, don’t watch the game or hike the trail without making a plan for a follow-up get-together.

Step 4: Share and share alike

There’s more to a solid bromance than letting the good times roll. One of the best things about close buddies is that they support each other through thick and thin, offer honest advice, and are open to talking about topics that are typically off-limits to others. Sometimes, it’s just about being there: If a new friend seems out of sorts, simply asking “Hey man, is something up?” can go a long way towards forging a lasting bromance.

The benefits of bromances

If your significant other objects to you spending too much time with your new guy friend, just point to these awesome health nuggets:

  • A British study found that men who get together with other male friends at least twice a week reap health benefits including less risk of depression and anxiety, and faster recovery from illness.
  • Research shows that guys with close male friends are less likely to be at risk for heart disease, stroke, and even the progression of Alzheimer’s Disease.
  • A University of Pennsylvania study found that enrolling at a gym and exercising with a friend produced more weight loss than going it alone. And last but not least…
  • A 2002 study of more than 28,000 men found that guys who lacked strong social ties were nearly 20 per cent more likely to die within 10 years, regardless of their health or occupation.

That’s right: Your new buddy might even save your life! What are friends for, right?

Do you have any tips for starting a bromance or finding new buddies? Go ahead and share them in the comments below!

If you want to learn more about mental health, check out the guy’s guide to mental health page.
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Adam Bisby
Adam Bisby

Adam Bisby is a Toronto-based freelance journalist and father of two who has been covering men’s health for more than 20 years. As well as researching and blogging for Don’t Change Much since 2015, Adam’s award-winning work has appeared in the Globe and Mail, Toronto Star and National Post newspapers, in magazines such as Explore, Reader’s Digest and Canadian Family, and on websites including MSN and Toronto.com. Visit Adam’s website for more information on what he does.

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3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    This article may be a step in the right direction for making friends in general. I don’t think it actually creates a bromance. A bromance requires commitment and a tight bond. You can have plenty of friends, even close friends and not have a bromance.

    To me, a bromance is a relationship with someone who is into you, enjoys spending time with you and interested in helping you reach your goals. Friends around a common interest could lead to a bromance but it does not create a bromance unless there is some commitment or a lot of time spent together.

    Many people simply aren’t willing to commit themselves to their friends. Perhaps it is more likely when guys have a lot of free time and a common interest they can invest a lot of time into. Even then it is a question of whether they are really all that into each other rather than just happy they have a common friend they can do the things they like together. It may look like a bromance. It may be bromance-like, but there is a slight difference i think.

    Reply
  2. Avatar

    Ya used to have lots of friends and girlfriends. I had a brain injury 10yrs ago and lost all my friends. Its hard to get out and make new friends. I feel that no one will understand me, so all I do is stay in and hide. Its tuff. I hate my life. Not sure what to do..

    Reply
    • Timothy

      Hi Christopher,

      Thank you for your comment. It is difficult to make new friends, but your situation is all the more challenging given your brain injury. To be 100% honest your “challenge” is outside our area of expertise. We reached out to a few experts that have recommended contacting the Ontario Brain Injury Association or The British Columbia Brain Injury Association. Each organization has support and resources you may access. Another recommendation was to reach out to your healthcare team and discuss this issue directly with them.

      Do any of our readers with perhaps chronic disease/injury challenges have any tips that they can share?

      Reply

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