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Goodbye Hangover, Hello Handsome

by | Jan 28, 2019 | Drink Less | 8 comments

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A skinny man who drinks water, and a beer-bellied man who drinks beer

Let’s raise a glass (of water!) to the BIG benefits of drinking less alcohol

Animated TV icon Homer J. Simpson has uttered many famous, and hilarious, lines over the years:

“You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.”

“Shut up, brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-tip!”

The list goes on. However, there’s one Homer quote that speaks volumes for anyone thinking about drinking less alcohol:

“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

It’s no secret that drinking too much can make us forget things. And that includes our problems! Trouble is, forgetting our problems doesn’t make them go away.

The trouble with booze

Now, it may be an exaggeration to say that alcohol causes ALL of life’s problems. Stuck in traffic? Probably not alcohol’s fault. Driveway covered in ice? Again, booze isn’t to blame.  

But many SERIOUS health-related problems, including some cancers and cirrhosis of the liver, are caused by drinking too much.

Then there’s erectile dysfunction and low testosterone levels, both of which are more common among heavy drinkers.

No wonder alcohol causes the second-most harm of any substance in Canada (after tobacco).

On an individual level, drinking too much can cause weight gain and detract from the things that matter much more than getting your buzz on.

The good news: cutting down on alcohol can be a great way to reverse its ill effects. So let’s flip the script on Homer’s quote — “To drinking less alcohol! The solution to so many of life’s problems!” — as we look at three big benefits of drinking less booze. Why is drinking less alcohol good for you? Keep reading to find out!

Goodbye beer gut, hello hotness

Cutting alcohol’s empty calories out of your life can make you slimmer, trimmer and better-looking. If this boosts your overall attractiveness, you may well get a boost in the bedroom. Booze is also notorious for fuelling desire but hurting performance in bed, so there’s another GREAT reason to nix it.

Drinking about a bottle of wine, a six-pack of beer, or six shots of spirits in one sitting is considered to be binge drinking and is super-unhealthy. So what are the ground rules for safe drinking? Studies show them to be a maximum of 3 drinks per day, with 2 alcohol-free days per week.

Alcohol has an uncanny ability to add inches to your waist, which turns excess drinking into a double health whammy. If your alcohol intake contributes to your waist size hanging lower than your ‘dick-do,’ you could be at a higher risk for heart attack and stroke. Plus, alcohol ages you by dehydrating your body, and especially your skin, which causes wrinkles and a pale complexion. Alcohol also robs the body of vitamin A, an essential antioxidant for cell renewal and turnover.

Save some serious coin

Every time you DON’T have a drink your wallet stays a little bit fatter. Cut your weekly drink count in half — say, from 20 to 10 — and you’ll save at least $100 if those pints are at a pub. In a year you’ll have saved more than $5,000, which could add up to millions of dollars over your lifetime! Keep cutting your drink count, and the savings will only increase.

Be better at the things that really matter

Hangovers take away from everything that makes you happy and is important to you. Spending time with family and friends, enjoying your favourite activities — fishing, listening to music, going to the movies — getting it on, you get the idea. Drink less, and you’ll enjoy everything else in life that much more!

At the same time, the foggy thinking that goes along with drinking will disappear, which will allow you to fully appreciate the extra time you have. Not only that, you’ll have a clearer idea of how to spend all that extra cash in your wallet!

What would YOU do with all the money saved by drinking less? Share your ideas in the comments below! But remember, as Homer points out, “You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you can’t buy: A dinosaur.”

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Adam Bisby
Adam Bisby

Adam Bisby is a Toronto-based freelance journalist and father of two. He’s been covering men’s health for over 20 years. As well as researching and blogging for Don’t Change Much since 2015, Adam’s award-winning work has appeared in the Globe and Mail, Toronto Star, and National Post newspapers.

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8 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Hey Crown and Coke. Your wife says she disagrees with you.

    Reply
  2. Avatar

    I’ve been trying to stop for the past 15 years. And it’s been a great run. So I’m going to keep going. I’m already slim and great in the sack so why stop now!

    Reply
    • Don't Change Much

      CC: We are cheering you on to make that quit happen. If you quit, you can increase the likelihood that you will remain great in the sack. Just as a reminder – smoking can increase your risk of erectile dysfunction by 50%. Don’t let that be you.

      Reply
  3. Avatar

    5000×100=500000 if you drank from 1-100, yes there is people that drink enough to save millions just a math statement but good article

    Reply
  4. Avatar

    Good article and some sound advice, but I’m not so sure about your comment: “Drinking about a bottle of wine, a six-pack of beer, or six shots of spirits in one sitting is considered to be binge drinking….”? Really? Binge drinking? I don’t think that’s even close to being considered binge drinking… I’m not saying [drinking that much] is good for you, but classifying it as “binge drinking” really takes away from your article’s credibility. That’s my opinion, of course…

    Reply
  5. Avatar

    Thanks for sharing the article. We appreciate people sharing the benefits of reduced alcohol consumption.

    And congrats on being non-drinker.

    Reply
  6. Avatar

    I gave it up completely after that final last-straw hangover 8 years ago and am grateful every morning for it. Life is much, much better without alcohol!

    Reply
  7. Avatar

    Thankfully I am not a drinker and never have been. Great article that I will share with the family and friends!

    Reply

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